What I Have Learned Today

I learned that glass may be able to cook in the oven but cannot take the “high” setting on a stove.

I learned that you should double check which burner you have on if you have a glass pan with cornbread in it on one of the burners.

I learned that if you turn the burner on “high” that has the cornbread and glass pan on it, it takes about 11 minutes before the glass pan actually explodes.

I learned that when said glass pan explodes, glass can shoot up to four feet away from the stove.

I learned that you can sweep and vacuum up glass shards but still find more when you mop by hand.

I learned that you should wait for the burner to cool down before you try to remove the glass from the stove.

I learned that after you use Green Works, Mr. Clean, and Febreeze, it will still smell burnt in your house.

I learned that your seven-year-old son will think you are the coolest mom ever for blowing up the pan.

I learned that the seven-year-old son thinks you are a strict parent when he says, “I would have gotten in so much trouble for that.”

I learned that it might be time to just give up on the whole cooking a balanced meal.  I’m only cooking casseroles from now on.  One dish, one part of the oven/stove to turn on, one thing to make sure it is turned on correctly and won’t blow up.

No.  Wait.  I learned I need a cook.