Saturday, April 24, 2010

Reasons James is Late for School

1. All three of my kids bathed this morning and that adds 20 minutes to my routine.

2. I washed my hair and that adds 20 minutes to my routine.

3. Kevin decided at 7:45pm the night before, we should go to the condo and get the tires so I can get the snow tires off. No one got to bed until 10pm.

4. The phrase "Get in the car" makes my two year old poop.

5. The phrase "Get in the car" makes all shoes magically disappear so that no child 7 0r 4 can find them.

6. I lay in bed until the last possible moment before getting up and dealing with waking my children up - not morning people.

7. My son gets upset when I forget HIS backpack.

8. We believe in being fashionably late.

9. We like to make entrances.

10. I decided to let my kids stay home for a day until I realized that means I would be home with them.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

How are you?

See full size image

(This may wax philosophical. I have forewarned.)
Yesterday, an old friend asked how I was. We haven't spoken in months or a year or more so it seemed like a fair question. I answered that I am fine, Kevin just got back from DC and the kids are starting summer sports. He replied how he was doing and didn't mention his wife at all. It caused me to question two things: Is he still married? and When did I become an entity?

I caused myself to become paranoid. I started to wonder if I had no identity. If my identity was found only in my family. If I was one of those women who have midlife crisis once there children are gone because they have never developed their interests while their children are at home. And then I laughed.

Anyone who knows me knows I don't identify myself as a mom. While in Cancun, when people asked me what I do, I told them I am a writer. They actually started conversations with me. Whenever I say I am a mom, they reply: "That is the greatest job anyone can have." And then the conversation ends. Dead space. Awkward silence. And then they talk about someone else's job. This time people asked me what I write and where I publish and my interests. Moms don't have those interests. Besides their kids of course. And who wants to hear about those? I don't. So I now recommend coming up with an occupation for stay at home moms that you can tell people when it comes up in a conversation. Then the conversation continues. You could always choose a career of the main character of the latest book you have been reading. Unless you are a Twilight Mom. Then you are screwed.

So after pondering my reaction to the simple question: How are you? I realized I was right and he was wrong. When you haven't seen someone for a year or even a month, I think you are asking How is Life? And that generally means all of life. My life includes my family. When you see someone weekly and they ask how you are, they want to know how YOU are and not how life is. So my friend should have said something about his wife and he didn't. Now I have to figure out a way to subtly find out if he is still married. This makes my life very difficult. He should have just answered my question more fully. And this goes for all of you out in cyberspace:

How are you?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I am an Anglo Saxon.

See full size image

I haven't posted for a while. I have been in deep contemplation. I have wondered why anyone is reading what I am writing. Then I read an old professor's writing and I realized that sometimes it is just nice to see how other people experience life and for me it is nice to see how they write about it. My profoundness is overwhelming at times.

I just got back from Mexico. It was relaxing and revealing at the same time. There was a time in my life, when most of my friends would have bet good money that I would end up with a Latino Lover. Perhaps I should say a permanent Latino Lover. Many have tried to teach me to Salsa and Samba but none have succeeded. I realized at that time that I have anglo saxon hips. For some reason I did not realize that I am 100% Anglo Saxon. I realized this last week.

I am meant to vacation in Europe where I do not have to slather on an inch of sun screen before I open the blinds of my hotel room. The last day we were there, I fell asleep under a beach umbrella with two bathing suit covers on (really a t shirt and a wrap). The sun moved and my feet sunburned. We used a gel sun screen and so I washed my hands after applying. My hands got very burned.

We did a zip line in the jungle and I realized that I don't enjoy sweating. It was nice to not have dry lips or skin or eyes, but it didn't really balance out.

Fourteen years ago I thought I would live in Mexico or South America part time. I thought I would be fluent in Spanish and be teaching millions. Now I realize I would have lasted a month before I died a slow death from cooking alive. I am Anglo Saxon. I have always been Anglo Saxon. I am supposed to live where it rains 50% of the time and is often overcast and there is cold wind but I can handle it as long as I have a wool tartan outfit. This is who I am. I am Anglo Saxon woman.