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My Grown-up Christmas List

 

In case you were wondering what to get me for Christmas, I thought I would make it easier.  The list goes from grand to less grand so that by the time you get to the bottom, you think it is such a deal that you buy whatever is last.  Oh, and listen to my calming voice; you are getting sleepy…

1. I would like a car with four-wheel drive or all wheel drive.  I wouldn’t mind a Hummer although I think their windows are too small.  I would settle for a Land Rover or a Mercedes with all wheel drive.  I want it fully loaded with all of the computer software possible.  I would like it to sync to my Macbook along with an Ipad and Iphone.  I will also, humbly, accept a hover craft.
2. A spa day.  Wait.  That is not thinking big enough.  A spa week.  I would like to go to a real spa in Southern Utah where I only eat grass, get massages after I exercise and then contemplate life while drinking water I find myself by digging my own well.
3. I would like to move to England for a year.  I have always wanted to do this and I believe the only way I will stop wanting to do this is to do it.  Questions?
4. LAMY pens.  You may think this doesn’t fit with the rest of my list because it is only $35, but I would like EVERY pen LAMY makes, with refills.  I actually found a paper and pen store in New York City that sells them and I am so excited to go there in May.  I believe it will be the highlight of my trip to New York.  And there is nothing wrong with that.
5. Two chairs.  I think I would like them to be reading chairs.  And I would like a protective shield over them so when I sit in them with a book, my children cannot see me.
6. An Ipad.  I would like this so I can carry it around and write whenever I wish and not have to carry a laptop.  I would do all my social networking on it as well so when I am writing, I am writing and not facebooking because that is easier than figuring out how to describe Sadie riding a horse (part of my plot sort of but not really).

Now doesn’t an IPAD sound reasonable?  I would need a case for it to go in, though.  I learned the hard way with my kindle that one must protect the screen and threaten small children with their lives if they touch it.  I would like a designer case.  One that costs more than the actual IPAD if possible, yet subtle.

So what is on your list?

My BFF James

 

I would like to be friends with James Taylor. I was listening to his Christmas album in the car and I foresaw my possible future.  He seems to be the type of person who always brings homemade bread to a potluck. I also think he would be great at barbeques.  Then after we ate our fill, we could sit around a nice fire because he has an outdoor fireplace and roast marshmallows while he plays the guitar.

            James washes dishes by hand and only wears cotton layers.  His wife brings out some homemade pie while the kids skip rocks on the beach.  We can’t actually see the children do this, however, because James’ house is in the mountains.  Maybe the kids are at a lake cut into the top of the mountain James lives on.

            And then we all sleep in hammocks that automatically rock with crickets and birds gently singing.  In other words, James Taylor lives with Snow White.

            I think I would do great in this atmosphere with James as a friend.  I could harmonize and we would look at each other knowingly over his guitar when others would try to join in, off pitch.  Then for Christmas, he would give me a basket of handmade candies wrapped in tissue paper.  He would then start to chop wood for the next night’s fire.

            This is how James Taylor lives, don’t you think?  And I would fit in to this lifestyle quite well.  I use to hang out at campsites, although no one ever sang, and I couldn’t understand what anyone was saying around the campfire in Mexico.  I used to fall asleep every night to crickets chirping when I lived in Connecticut.  I never actually slept outside with crickets.  I started camping in Utah, namely Southern Utah, and it is too hot for crickets there.  Mostly, I slept to other people’s snores. 

            But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t fit in.  I have done everything I would do at James’ house, just not all together.  That is why I need him to be my friend.  It would bring me completeness.  I would be a complete person.  Just like Snow White.