Kevin and I spent the last week at Education Week at Brigham Young University. Every August, BYU has its professors and guest lecturers give classes on religion, health, organization and family stuff. We went last year and I spent the whole week in organization classes. I am not as die hard as I was when I left last year, but I am much better at planning meals and making my children pick up. This year I went to parenting classes, Old Testament classes, and a class on CS Lewis. I am not sure anything has changed.
I came home determined to listen better and to teach my children better and to become an Old Testament scholar as I learn Greek. Since I have been home, I have put Seth in time out, told my children to go outside to play although it was raining, and warned them that while I was organizing the pantry, I would be in a very bad mood. I think when I am in parenting classes I spend most of the time considering all I do wrong. I think about how much I must improve. I wonder how much future counseling for my children is going to cost me and should I just start it now.
As I wallow in my despair and self-loathing, I notice that when Katherine smacks into a wall, she walks past Kevin and wants a hug from me. When Seth falls off his bike, he yells for mom, even if Dad is already in the yard. And James didn’t want to take soccer until I told him I would go to all of his practices and games. I think Moms simply get a lot of leeway. God made it so. If you read the Old Testament in the original Greek, it says it in Leviticus. Even if your mom is a complete nutcase, and I am waiting for my children to figure this out, you still wish she is there when you are sick. And I am talking about head, nose, throat sick. I am nowhere to be found if you are vomiting. If you are vomiting, I am dry heaving. If I have to clean up vomit, you might as well right me off for the rest of the day. But overall, I can be comforting. I believe it is in Exodus where Sarah says when one vomits, one is alone.
So I spent a week learning listening and talking skills and then realized that as long as I do the best I can, the Old Testament in Greek and my kids will give me the leeway I need. I wonder if the Old Testament in Hebrew will work with husbands