Why I Should be Famous

When I was in college, I would have been placed in the more liberal of the conservative camps.  I was even part of a protest at BYU…  I ate lunch on the steps of the administration building while my friends held signs. I am counting it though – you can’t imagine how hard it is to find something to protest at BYU.  It was a very nice lunch, by the way.  My family was very worried for me and any future offspring I may have.   Imagine my family’s surprise when I brought my husband home for them to meet and he rode in on an elephant and his billfold contained pictures of the Republican members of congress, instead of his family.

Now I have just given my family another shock.  If you google my name, the first thing that appears is an Associated Press news article I am quoted in for being against the new proposed Helena School District health curriculum.  Now, I am not writing this to state how completely stupid and offensive the new curriculum is or how if the writers of the curriculum were so stupid to not realize how controversial this would be, they should not be writing curriculum in the first place.  I am writing this to let you know that the reason I should be famous is that I was not sitting in my study when interviewed by the reporter.  I was not pondering how to start a charter school.  I was not even thinking about school.

I should be famous because I discussed these controversial topics while shopping for clearance beach toys at Target.  I ended up buying $50 extra stuff to keep my three year old from yelling while I was on the phone.  I bought 4 bubble guns when I have three children and I bought a parachute guy whose head broke off once he hit the sidewalk.  (Seth will not play with it anymore even though he plays with all of the Star Wars toys without heads because he has taken all of the heads off and lost them.) 

I think my ability to shop clearance toys at Target under any circumstance proves that people should pay for the opportunity to read my writing or to be my friend generally.

Thank you and goodnight.