I did it.

(our future view, sort of... ok not really. but you get the idea.)

You will be the first to know. I haven't even told my husband my decision. I feel as though his input into this is minimal now. I really just need money. And then it would be nice if he disappeared for a few months and had no input whatsoever.

I am going to build the house I want. We found a house that is 6600 sq ft with a tennis court and tree house and garden with a deer fence and it is gorgeous. I hemmed and hawed over it and although the decision is not 100%, I'm pretty sure we are going to buy a lot on the side of a mountain and build the house I really want. The kids bedrooms will be upstairs and there will be a laundry shoot leading to the laundry room. There will be lockers for every member of the family and a desk in the mudroom for all the family papers that seem to grow and grow and grow. I will have a study with a fireplace so that I can write my best seller with the crackling of a fire. It will be a wood fireplace. We will have glass doors on the study so although our kids will think they have privacy, I can always see what is on the computer. Ha Ha Ha.

James will change schools and he is not happy about that. We haven't really told him but he is not stupid and we are looking at houses and lots and they are not by our house. We are moving to another county, although it is 10 minutes away, so we can't keep him in the same school. I have felt so guilty about this. Let us develop this thought.

I have felt guilty about wanting a new house. I have felt guilty about how much it will cost. I have felt guilty I will be transplanting my kids. I have felt guilty about changing congregations. I have felt guilty about changing schools. I think the general idea is that I have felt guilty. I asked my friend why I feel guilty and she said she didn't know and that I should have a party. I said, it is expensive and she said then have a big party. I asked another friend and she said, that we are so giving with what we do have, we should build a house so everyone can benefit. So then I started wondering how much a birthing room would cost.

So... I am going to buy the land and build a road and have a nice laundry room and a fire in my study. It took four months to make this decision. I now have to buy the land and find a builder. I should have a new house by 2020. We should be able to pay cash by then.