Run for Your Life

Recently, I have decided to run again.  I ran when I was in college.  I actually enjoyed it.  I would listen to a mixed tape made just for running and kept my stance in beat with whatever song was on at the time.  I thought that it worked for me then, it should work for me now.  Something has happened since I had three children.  I now hate running.
    I now have an ipod and tried creating a playlist for running.  It didn’t work.  I then bought all of the albums I had when I was in college and tried recreating the playlist I had as a graduate student.  That didn’t work either.  I then bought a playlist Niki created and I think there is a reason Niki makes shoes.  I downloaded the Biggest Loser playlist.  I think you need Jillian and Bob in the room to scare you to make that one easier to listen to. When I realized this, I realized what my problem is.
    Since I have three kids, I have a hard time doing things for no reason, because my time is so finite.  To go to the gym, I have to fight my kids and get them in the daycare.  To run around my neighborhood, I have to wait for my husband to be home or I have to hire a babysitter.  I suppose I could just run up and down the block, but I’m not sure I could do that more than a couple of times.
    In order for me to feel as though my running has a true purpose, I believe I need to be chased.  Running to lose weight is a viable goal, but it takes a long time.  For me to get up and start running right now, I think I need to be chased.  So I came up with a new exercise system.  Treadmills and spinning classes will have a monitor on the front of the machine or in the front of the class.  You can watch television or pretend you are running or cycling in the mountains or on a beach.  I would like to put monitors behind you with films of large men wearing ski masks and carrying machetes.  If you start to slow down, you receive an electric shock letting you know what will happen if these men catch you.  I need fear.  My heart will beat faster and I will burn even more calories.  I could run twenty minutes instead of forty and get the same benefit.  I think I will call it Run for Your Life.  I could be a millionaire.  Then I could buy liposuction.