I'm warning you that this is a serious blog. At least, that is my intention writing it. We shall see what develops. I have a hard time sustaining seriousness.
I recently "facebooked" an old friend. I think I knew him 4 years of my college 'experience.' He is finishing his PHD and working in DC to save the world. Ok. I realized I always thought I would do similar things. I would teach English in Yemen or help immigrants become naturalized in Chicago or California. In other words, I would be working for the 'greater good.'
Instead, I am a stay at home mom. This transition has been more difficult than I care to imagine. I am not a mom with a career; I am a stay at home mom. Occasionally I write, but mostly I clean up urine. I am not helping 100's of people; I am helping 4. It took this last week at education week at BYU to realize I need to focus on this.
The whole time I have been a mom, I have wanted a career. I think I finally learned I have to figure out how to be a mom before I can do both. This is what my organizational goal is about. I will know where the paper is. I will know my kids are fed and healthy. I will have things as much under control is possible with humans in perpetual motion.
Then I am hoping I will learn the lessons I need so I can have more. I need to learn how to use a zipper before I purchase the leather jacket with the 35 zippers. (the analogy is there, I swear) I am really, really hoping that once I learn this, my reward will be to have the time to have the career I have always wanted: Sports agent.
2 comments:
I struggle with the same thing. I love my family, but I still want that dream job. It's a difficult thing to work through when you have ambitions beyond family.
I was just thinking the same thing the other day about myself. Feeling bad that I "don't DO anything" (besides the mom thing) and yet I don't do that real great and if I did have a job outside the home, wow, my kids would really suffer me stretched out too thin. Let me know how your organizing goes. I need to get my house in check. I hate how something I need to clean always hangs over my head every day.
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