Well, it is kind of fun to blog and not post it yet. It lets me think my thoughts without having to worry that someone won’t understand them. I guess all of that will change once I publish this online.
I have never felt like that much of an accomplisher. The grass has always felt greener to other people. I have an amazing friend who has created a website and company, an amazing friend who takes the most incredible pictures, an amazing friend who travels the world, an amazing friend who has sarcoidosis and writes about it. I have 65 pages of a book written; I am trying to scrapbook my brains out so that I can get rid of my scrapbooking stuff and then I am going digital. I am in 2 book groups but only read the books for one of them. I am a terrible home maker. I don’t think I have made a home. I have made more of a dwelling. Maybe a hostel. I would appreciate it if my children provided their own sheets. My son is going through a phase of crankiness and crudeness. I think moms use the term “going through a phase” to make annoying characteristics of their children will one day go away. I decided to make
christmas presents this year and so I now own a lot of cut up material. I feel as though I am a starter and not a finisher. I continually start projects hoping that this one will be the one that fulfills my life. I guess that is why I admire my friends so much. They seem to have figured out their space or what keeps them going and I haven’t.
I have a tumor that makes me tired and I keep waiting for the medication to make everything better and for me to no longer be tired. I kept telling myself that everything would be fine by January. January is now 6 weeks away and I’m starting to think it may be longer. I am very afraid that I will be tired for the rest of my life. Luckily I can blog lying down.
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