It took me a minute to figure out what to write. I had a minor tirade written about the school board meeting I attended Tuesday, but I decided I needed to cool down before I released that. So instead I am writing about electronics.
I love electronics. They are a mother’s best friend. Right now I am able to write because two of my children are playing with their Leapsters and one is playing with his new DS; all while Ben 10 is playing on the TV. I believe this would be Kevin’s hell. But before this happened, I was in bed, dreaming of being in a castle in a warm cozy robe before a fire with a servant named Sven massaging my feet. Then, three children jumped on the bed screaming, “Seth bit me.” “James is chasing me.” “I’m a frog, mom.” Sven disappeared and reality hit.
I put on some cartoons and tried to catch fifteen more minutes of shuteye but what a three year old and an eight year old will watch together is dwindling. So I got up, saw the mess that my idea of a movie and popcorn night made, vacuumed, and decided to make some pancakes. I had passed the acceptable breakfast time, however, because my kids were already foraging in the pantry. So while I was making pancakes that would be doused in healthy syrup, Seth dug through the goody bags I made for James’ birthday party and found chocolate, then found fruit snacks, Kath and James had a pop tart and found some Skittles under the couch. At this point, the morning is a wash and it is time to just get out the portable electronics.
In addition, I like figuring out electronics more than educational toys. James also got a crystal making kit and a microscope kit. For the crystal making, I need a pan that is no longer used for cooking. Who keeps pans around that they don’t use for cooking? Why would you? Just in case you buy a crystal making kit? AND I know that my loving husband will not pay attention to the fact that I used the pan for mixing toxic chemicals and put it in the camping box. So I will go to the Dollar Store and buy a pan to use to make crystals and then throw it away so Kevin doesn’t pop popcorn in it at the Ward campout.
And this crystal kit isn’t one step. You have to mix other stuff so you can see how crystals grow in different environments. I don’t care.
The microscope came with brine shrimp eggs to put in salt water and wait 48 hours to hatch and then you put them into three different containers and then make slides and then look at them under the microscope. The kids thought we were growing shrimp they could eat. I ordered sweet and sour shrimp to pacify them.
So right now I have brine shrimp in a container in my kitchen waiting for me to help James put it into other things. It’s gonna wait another day.
I’m a minimal effort kind of person. I paid someone to make James’ cake and classroom cupcakes. His teacher thought I was amazing. I agreed. I took full credit for the cupcakes. I just remain vague. So when the teacher says, “Those are gorgeous.” I agree. “How do you find the time?” I reply I don’t. Then there is laughter about how you just find the time when you are mom no matter what else is going on… And then I agree. This is how I survive. I cheat and I buy electronics. My role model is Betty Draper. (for those of you who don't watch Mad Men, she locks her kids in closets, yells at them regularly, tells them to leave and watch tv, and slaps them; all while smoking a cigarette.)